Today I have things I need to do.  To be honest, I am resentful of it.  These past few mornings, every morning in fact, I have been outside.  My morning routine consists of my coffee, a breakfast of toast or my homemade waffles or cinnamon rolls.  I grab my self care toolkit.  My journal, a pen, my books on daily living and the one day at a time philosophy, and I head outside.

I think, I drink, I eat, I read, and I write.  John sometimes comes out and has coffee with me and we talk a bit.  Half the day can go by during these conversations.  Eventually we head back inside.  John runs to the store to get something for us to eat.  I head upstairs to further go through all our stuff.

Today, however, there are hard lined, set in stone, “Things to be done.”  Phone calls have to be made and emails sent.  Why am I dreading them?  Probably because each represents either an ending or a beginning.  The last dentist appointments here.  The closing of schooling here for my oldest. The opening up of new schooling in Oregon.

It is an emotional time for me filled with endings and beginnings.  Sometimes it feels so good to just reside in the happy middle.  At least I know that balance will be waiting for me when I finish all my “To Do’s” today.

Off to work!