John and I are quite different in the way we move on.  I am finding that now, as I sit here typing. My mouth numb from cavity work, and right about to watch something enjoyable on the laptop.

We have lived in this house for over 7 years.  Our kids grew up here. Friends and family visited.  We hosted numerous dogs here.  We had wonderful times here.

There are boxes all over the place here now.  Boxes to replace bare floors and carpets.  The walls no longer hold our beloved pictures. They too are bare.  All the dust bunnies and crumbs have now arrived. The carpet is covered with them.  This is no longer a “lived in” house but a house in transition.  A house that seems anxious to get us out and bring the next family in.

This matches me exactly.  I am ready to move on to our next adventure. No doubt I am probably in a bit of shock, perhaps a bit numb (along with my mouth!). I know I am shielding myself from emotions.  However, I have done this before.  I know these emotions will come once we are settled in our new place.  Once our mattresses have been laid down and the next garage filled with boxes.  I know that is when the tears will come.  When I will think, “Wow, I miss what I had so much.”

I will think about all the little nooks and crannies in this house.  Our bedroom, the great room downstairs, the bathtubs, the closet under the stairs, and our backyard.

My husband chooses to grieve now.  Make his peace with things.  He plays melancholy music and sits outside to watch sunsets.

I instead choose upbeat music and creature comforts.  No obvious reminders of what we are leaving behind.  To me it is a simple, “On to better things.”  Friends get reminded that, “Hey, we have Facebook!”  My books and journals are my constant companions.  My security blankets that I get to bring along with me.  That provide that grounding that I need that I am not really leaving anything at all.

I guess this has been the way I have always done things.  I have remained stoic during times of immediate stress.  I have remained calm and collected and eventually when the time is right, I cry.

So now it is time to watch some good TV and have a great dinner.